d1srupt3r
06-10-2008, 01:53 PM
Apple announced its next-generation iPhone today.HM has an exclusive list of new features:
* Lithium ion batteries powered by the infinite blackness that is Steve Jobs' sweater
* GPS-enabled system helps you avoid setting foot in stores selling Dell products
* Able to make, receive telephone calls
* 37% higher resolution on AT&T's XXXTube Network
* Fold-out nail file
* Improved screen response: Now purrs “Mmmm, oh yeah, right there, that feels nice” when you touch it
* Built-in breathalyzer prevents drunk dialing
* Runs entirely on hype
* Obsolescence clock to remind you of impending robot-led holocaust
* So thin it can be used as a shiv in prisons
* Windows Vista
* Lithium ion batteries powered by the infinite blackness that is Steve Jobs' sweater
* GPS-enabled system helps you avoid setting foot in stores selling Dell products
* Able to make, receive telephone calls
* 37% higher resolution on AT&T's XXXTube Network
* Fold-out nail file
* Improved screen response: Now purrs “Mmmm, oh yeah, right there, that feels nice” when you touch it
* Built-in breathalyzer prevents drunk dialing
* Runs entirely on hype
* Obsolescence clock to remind you of impending robot-led holocaust
* So thin it can be used as a shiv in prisons
* Windows Vista